We're under budget cuts because the university has told us that our number of students has declined.

The number of students really has fallen. This is because we've had pre-existing budget cuts so now people don't trust they'll get a decent education.

In unrelated news, completely separate from the aforementioned issues, the administration team have recently been granted across-the-board raises due to their stellar work in increasing student numbers. I'm not sure where those increases are coming from, since so many departments are experiencing budget cuts due to falling student attendance, but I'm so proud of our gallant desk-jockeys for their simply marvellous performance and I trust they'll tell us where those students are hiding soon so we can entice them ourselves with all our promises of unpaid internships because we no longer have the budget to pay them.