In elementary school my parents always made me a bagged lunch and I was jealous of the kids who could buy a lunch. One rare day my mom gave me a dollar to get a dessert so I bought some Hostess powdered donuts.

To my dismay, when I bit into the first one it was like a green spiderweb inside. Because they were green and disgusting, naturally I believed that I had accidentally gotten vegetable donuts. I always hated vegetables but my parents told me to eat them anyway because they were good for me, so, thinking of how proud my parents would be, I ate the hell out of those completely mold-ridden donuts. I immediately felt sick and threw up on the carpet right after I got home.