What is the dumbest thing you have done while under the influence of alcohol?

This happened about three years ago, in the height of my "Let's do all the alcohol and hope we get home safe" phase. My friends and I were going out about 4-5 times a week and getting completely wasted. This particular night we were at a hotel party, in a not so great area of a big Midwestern city. The party was dying down quickly so my friends and I decided to leave.

I was outside smoking a cigarette waiting for my friends to get out of the public bathroom. I guess they were too drunk to realize they had to pee while still in the room. Outside the hotel was a bunch of teenagers. Keep in mind it is like 4 am. I propped my drunk ass against the wall, lit a cigarette, and started messing with my phone. One of the teenagers came over and asked to bum a smoke. I obliged. I guess it was then that he realized I was a good target to impress his friends. I was way too drunk to do anything about it.

This kid started talking shit to me for no reason. Going off on me, and getting in my face. He kept yelling "Get the fuck out of here" as I tried to explain that my ride was in the shitter, and I'd be out of there soon. His friends eventually grabbed him and they walked away.

My friends came out without incident and we started walking towards the car. Here's where the fuck-up occurred. We're walking to the car, at 4 am, in a major city. The street seems deserted. That's when I notice a couple people down on the other side of the block. All I see is a man climbing a street light. In my drunken mind, I decided that yelling "Get down you fucking monkey" was a good idea. The guy I yelled at, jokingly, just so happened to be the same guy that was getting in my face just a couple minutes before. What makes this situation even worse is, he also happened to be African American.

What happens when you mix one drunk guy, a teenager with something to prove, and a unknowingly racist comment? You get a mild concussion with a broken jaw. I didn't have insurance. So I let my jaw heal on it's own. It hurt to eat for about a month, but it eventually subsided. It healed well, and besides the fact that I can't fully clench my teeth together, it's not noticeable at all.

TLDR - Drunkenly called a black man a monkey by mistake, my jaw will never be the same.

/r/AskReddit Thread