I'm pretty well late to this thread, but am in the exact same position. I used to be this idealistic, pacifist until I walked into my home, unaware that it was being robbed, and was shot in the abdomen.
Before I was shot, I'd say that I was "ideally a pacifist" but because people fought my wars for me, I was never put in a position to choose pacifism and could never claim the title of "pacifist." If that makes any sense.
Now, I have no respect for anyone that robs someone else and have little pity for anyone that robs from others, regardless of whether or not they're violent. Because I believe they'll one day get caught and have to choose whether or not to become violent. And if they're already robbing from others (a very selfish act) they'll make the selfish, self preservative choice to murder their victim.
There was a lot of discussion in this post about whether or not it was appropriate to shoot the guy in the back. Part of me understands why people would think it's wrong to shoot a defenseless man, but part of me feels like it's one less criminal on the street.
Maybe if breaking into homes, or robbing people, was more dangerous, people wouldn't do it?
My two biggest pet peeves about my story is when people try to use my story to argue for/against gun control and when people tell me how rare it is for home invaders to become violent. Therefore excusing their behavior and arguing that one should not defend their home. I don't care what the statistics say, I feel like my life still matters.
Personally, I feel like the men that robbed my home were non-violent 90% of the time they robbed homes. But I was that 10% chance of them becoming violent. When I walked into my home, they chose to try to avoid jail time and decided it was easier to kill me.
I'm not a statistic. I'm a real person. A real person that ironically works with at-risk teens. I help kids turn their life around and never become the people that tried to kill me. But with that said, I don't feel sorry for the guys going to trial for trying to murder me. They made a choice when they broke into my home.
But the worst part is my mind will probably change in the next 12 hours. I'm like the Jekyll and Hyde of forgiveness and self defense, one day I feel like pacifism is the future of society and the next I feel like the definition of self defense is too strict.
My mind will probably change when I wake up tomorrow, but I feel like I have earned that privilege with my months of physical therapy and PTSD.