I was a virgin until I was 19 and lost it to a fat girl and the experience was pathetic, I was a wet fish in the sack and didn't fuck again until 3 years later. The only attention I could garner from women were those I wasn't interested in; or those who I was heavily invested in, but when attraction wasn't returned I would lose interest and ignore them, then they would come and chase me.. But I was so turned off by them at that point I couldn't bother to pursue a relationship with them.
I had plenty of opportunities to have sex since I was 14, but being the fedora tipping romantic I was, I wanted to hold out for "someone special" and didn't want to pump and dump a girl because I'd feel awful "leading her on" like that rolls eyes. I also had pretty sexy women show interest, but lose it quickly due to me not making a move (because I wanted to get to know them better). Ugh.
Eventually, I googled "How to get hot girls" or something one desperate evening when I was 20 after being bummed out that this one girl lost interest in me and listened to all of my roommates having sex in a pathetic pity party. I stumbled upon the Don Juan forums, which is where PUA culture was introduced to me.
Suddenly my confidence shot through the roof. I was getting numbers left and right at the bars and rock shows. I was escalating to making out, finger banging, blow jobs, etc.. But sex was always something I was weirdly afraid of still. I had escalated with two chicks who had friend zoned me for YEARS from high school and probably could have gone farther but I was still beta as fuck.
Fast forward a few months and I finally got laid again by a fat chick I had class with who would let me copy her homework while her STEM geek exboyfriend was in the other room slamming his head against a wall. Except at this point, I was in IDGAF mode instead of "feeling bad". I had been that guy so many times throughout my youth that it was my turn to "be Chad".
Had sex with the fat girl a few more times and developed oneitis. How pathetic, my SMV was actually pretty high at this point because I played in a few cool local bands and many women found me attractive, but since I was aware of AWALT behavior now, I knew they would cheat on me in a second and I just wanted a steady GF, if she was a little chubby so be it as long as she had a nice face and a good conversationalist. Nope. AWALT; girl loses interest pretty quickly and I find out as well that there are 3 other dudes she's fucking on the regular. NEXT'd her.
Two weeks later one of the high school crushes I mentioned earlier finds out that I've been getting laid and hits me up on FB messenger. Our talk gets sexual pretty quickly. She was literally that girl I've been "Trying to bang since the 12th grade" Like in Ice Cube's song "It was a Good Day"..
HS crush comes to my band's record release gig and comes home with me after. We had crazy sex all night until 5AM. She tells me during sex that she wants to be my GF, then the next day takes it back. I was bummed out, but whatever.. My confidence was pretty high so I didn't care.
Me and the high school crush talk off and on for a few months and bang one or two more times.. But she still wasn't interested in being exclusive but couldn't care less. This was my first experience of "abundance mentality" because I had 3 other plates; my manager at work, a groupie type of chick, a girl who played in a band, and the HS crush.. There was one week where I banged all 4 of them 4 days in a row.. One day I had sex with two of them in one day.
At this point I felt like the man; thinking "WHOA! So this is why dudes were always shying away from relationships while I was jumping for joy at the opportunity to be exclusive with a woman..". I eventually entered an LTR with the girl in a band because...
1.) She was hella cool. Lots of common interests and going on dates literally felt like hanging out with a best friend.
2.) She was a virgin and I took her V-card (I know this for sure because she was kind of awkward / geeky and used to be kind of ugly when she was younger, saw the blood etc..)
3.) She exhibited nearly 0 AWALT behaviors other than being slightly SJW'esque but I kind of was back then too, so it was just another thing we had in common.
4.) She wanted to be exclusive with me. I told her I needed some time because I dealt with some bad women in my past and didn't want to just jump right into it. A few months later we were a couple.
Later on; HS crush got super jealous. I wound up cheating on my girlfriend with her. Broke up with the girlfriend because HS crush wanted exclusivity; and that's where I slipped up.
My HS crush and I dated for about a year, practically like a married couple and I loved it, except I loved it too much to the point where I was desperate and didn't want to lose her. I let her treat me like a doormat and while the sex was good and frequent, I felt like she didn't respect me. Several dudes she had a past with she kept in contact with, she always seemed slightly sketchy and while I couldn't put my finger on it I had that gut feeling.. She'd flirt with my friends in front of me to the point where my friends would look at me with that "dude handle your woman!" look.
After that year, she slept with her best friend's boyfriend and started secretly dating him. I found out and cut communication with her; dropped off all her stuff at her house and found myself right back where I started.
I turned to the internet again to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me and found TRP. While it was a lot harder to tame my beta-tendencies; I quickly started hitting the gym like a fucking marine. I would sometimes work 10 hour days, then go for a 5 mile run in the winter snow trying to be the physically hardest person that I can be.
I realized "women aren't everything" and took a break from dating / PUA stuff for a while and focused on myself. Enrolled in community college, did outstandingly and transferred to one of the best schools in the world for my major. For the first time in my life women were approaching me (physique changed from dad-bod to athletic). Had another one of those abundance mentality nirvana moments where I said to myself "I am now Chad."
Today, I have a few plates but couldn't care less if they stop spinning because I realize that there's plenty of sexy fish in the sea and some dude somewhere is sick of her shit. In my first semester at my top-tier school my GPA is 3.9 and I'm at the top of my class. I am setting a personal goal to graduate summa cum laude and I know I can achieve this with determination and will. I have a great job, a handful of great friends who have TRP tendencies, quit smoking cigarettes, and am considered a "really attractive guy" by most women. When I have sex with women now, I don't worry about it going anywhere but focus on the moment and having fun with them which usually leads to them wanting an LTR. A lot of my friends, family, and colleagues/acquaintances admire my personality and look up to me.
TRP has helped me harness my masculinity and really push myself. It has taught me that self-pity and laziness is pathetic and a waste of the precious time we have on this planet and that being a go-getter / over-achiever feels a lot more rewarding than watching TV, half assing my school work, and "settling" for anything that is not my dreams.
My words cannot express how thankful I am for this whole transformation. In the last 5 years or so, I went from being a total loser to a winner who people look up to.