I had been heavily smoking an ecig, taking 70mg of Vyvanse daily, and drinking a bit on weekends until I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified that I had messed my baby up. But nothing was wrong according to the ultrasounds or tests, and he is wonderfully healthy and beautiful. When I first found out how far along I was, I thought just like you, and was in absolute soul crushing anguish over it. But somehow, despite my lifestyle, he was perfectly healthy. Still can't believe it. I was so crushed and riddled with guilt before I was told that he was totally healthy. Multiple doctors and nurses told me that they often had drug addicted patients give birth to healthy babies. People don't hear about that much because drugs can harm an unborn baby, and no one wants to give someone any means to rationalize a behavior that cruel and selfish. The womb is more protective than most people realize.
Also, you do not have to go through "The System" for adoptions. Private adoption agencies exist. The birth mother does not have to pay a cent. The good ones screen potential families with incredible scrutiny for 1-2 years before taking them on as clients. It includes background checks, multiple home observations, psychological screening, interviewing extended family, friends, and employers, and even consultations with the IRS. I could not believe how many couples wanted a child so badly and genuinely. They were willing to go through so much. Knowing how grateful and appreciative these couples would be to have a child made me really, really confident that my baby would have a good life with ample opportunities.
Oh, and generally, the people who choose to adopt in this day and age do not give a flying fuck what color a baby is, or if a baby has any health problems or handicaps. One of my many, many worries was that no one would want my baby because he's mixed or that the family would back out if he was born with a bad problem. Nope. Adoptive family made it clear they would never, ever turn away from us.
As for affording healthcare, in the U.S., there is state health insurance available to pregnant women in need at 0 out of pocket cost. I'm in Louisiana, the second poorest, shittiest state in the nation (haha, Mississippi...can't pass up making the joke...) and all my maternity care and post partum care was 100% covered. I was well taken care of and delivered in the hospital of my choosing. I was astounded by the quality of care I had access to on Medicaid, especially in a state as poor and broken down as Louisiana. If Medicaid healthcare was good in Louisiana, then I'm sure it's fine in other states.
And if you don't qualify for Medicaid (which isn't likely for pregnant women; even the government likes babies to be healthy and safe), many private adoption agencies have reserved funds to help birth moms with healthcare, as well as housing, food, and transportation. Adoptive families will absolutely finance healthcare, too, and enthusiastically as well. Or anything else birth mom needs help with.
It is surprisingly possible for a woman in the United States to make it through an unplanned pregnancy!!! It is really, really fucked up how little awareness there is of the resources available to help pregnant women. Even in a scary situation like mine. I had NO IDEA how many resources were available until I was pregnant. I was in a tiny little podunk town, too. I imagine more developed areas have even more resources for pregnant women in need.
I learned that there were enough programs and resources were available to me that I totally did not HAVE to choose adoption because of money or because I would be a single mom. That would have been terrible if so! I also learned that choosing adoption today rarely means you never have anything to do with your child again. Open adoptions are the norm now. It's generally healthier for everyone involved.
I have an awesome relationship with my baby's adoptive family. We talk/text almost daily and they send me pictures all the time. We visit, too. I will always be a part of my child's life, and he will always know I am his birth mother.
Yes, it was all really hard and painful. It still is, everyday. But I was able to find a way to take care of everything. And if I could do it, then others can, too.
So...it doesn't have to be at all like what people think. Um. Kinda an embarrassingly long comment...I just want people to be aware of what's out there...