Be me.
Autist AF.
Get surprise babby after dating friends sister for a few months.
She swears me owning home, Porsche, V65, and sensible car (all paid for) just coincidence.
Also swears "just lucky" didn't get preggers topping guys since 13.
'Forgot' to get birth control we agreed on.
30 years later, lets slip had to be on pill at 13 cuz 2 periods a month. mfw - she stopped taking pill
w/e. Marry. Park motorcycle. Quit job as hair stylist, become manual laborer.
2 years l8r, broke AF.
F this. I'ma learn C. Make $$$.
18 hrs. / day shuffle diskettes, entertain babby who establishes dominance at 10 1/2 months.
"Hatter, you study so hard. You go ride!"
On way out, notice one of my business cards have directions.
"WTF is this?"
Rendezvous with her restaurant manager.
F that.
Forgive her.
Work. Constantly.
She shows to workplaces accusing me of cheating b/c never home.
Co workers & bosses laugh.
Initiates sex for final time in 1989.
Work. And work. And moar work.
Put down payment on gated community house, 13.75%.
Sell current house.
Boss say "No money for your last month. Spent all." Sry
Sweat.
Find job 1 1/2 hour commute away (2 1/2 drive home on Friday.)
Work. Work. Work.
Other jobs. She sometimes work, sometimes not.
Dot com.
Rake in nearly 1/2 mil.
Credit card declined.
????
"Must be a bank error, Hatter."
Tired. Fat. Need... break.
House paid for. $200K in bank. 6 figure + stock options.
"Do we owe anybody money?" No. "Do we owe anybody money?" No.
Give notice for hiatus.
3 days later, find credit card statement for 9K.
"Boss - can I work another 9 weeks?" Yes. "THANK YOU!" No, thank you, Hatter.
6 weeks later, go on 3000 mile motorcycle ride.
Come home. Says credit card $18K.
Double check. $26K. WTF????
Go into her closet.
6 pair of black leather boots. Crammed full of rebates never sent, net zero deals, traffic tickets never paid. Tons of expensive sexy clothes I never have seen.
Lose shit. Suddenly can't raise arms. Lose all feeling in hands.
(to be continued...)