Star Wars: The Force Awakens has everyone been talking…it's "cool" right now. Despite not being much of a Star Wars fan (you didn't watch the original trilogy because it's old and anything old isn't worth watching) you still order a vintage-looking Star Wars T-Shirt because if you wear it, people will think you're cool and that's what you're all about: "the in and now".

A few days later you see the weather report and it's going to be unusually warm and nice outside so you think "I'll get up for the sunrise, take some sweet pics, and post them to Instagram". You go to bed a bit earlier than usual so you can wake up early. You take a shower, spend a lot of time doing your hair and grooming your trendy beard. You throw on that Star Wars shirt that everyone's gonna think is super cool, careful to match it with the right brand-name gym shorts and "fresh" sneakers (you're big into sneakers and decide on your new "Air Jordan Beach"). You're looking pretty damn cool right now. It doesn't even bother you that your Jordan's (#beachsodope) are knock-offs from China you got for $20 online, you're feeling fresh as fuck. Time to go upstairs to the roof deck and catch that sunrise. You bring up some dumbells that haven't been touched since the last time you took "workout photos", grab that trendy yoga mat and your cool branded water bottle and head to the roof. You pu tin some effort setting it all up. Now it's time to get that picture. You try using your selifie stick but you can't get a good angle so you run inside and grab the tripod you ordered for your phone. You're careful to get the Star Wars shirt and your new Jordan's in frame. Perfect. You spend 20 minutes or so taking 30 or 40 pictures. Phew, you're exhausted. You quickly pack up your shit and head back inside. Posting time!

You sit down on the couch, looking through all your cool pics, picking out the one to post. Oh no, the one you like doesn't quite look nice enough, better go to photo-editor and touch it up. Perfect….post that shit to Instagram, Facbook, Tinder, whatever else you got. Now you gotta write a caption and tag it. "Nothin like a Sunrise Workout! #forceawakens, #beachsodope, #fitforspring, #roofyoga". Perfect. Now it's time to tag a few hot girls you know. Nice….I bet you're gonna get the freshest comments from the hottest girls.

Some people just don't get it. You're the brand manager for your own brand…you! If you market yourself well enough, people will think you're cool, you'll get laid more and have more friends. You may even swing a few job offers for some dope marketing gigs.

Man….fuck what everybody says, you're still fresh as fuck at age 30.

/r/LateStageCapitalism Thread Parent