Through my teen years I used to get headaches so bad that I'd blackout for hours at a time. I'm not sure if I was passing out, or if my memory would just block out what happened. They came seasonally, every Spring and Fall, hitting me a few times a month at random. They stopped after maybe 6 years, and I have no idea what they were.

I had headaches on a daily basis from the time I was 8, so I was no stranger to them. The first time one of these hit, I was 14, and sitting in the playground behind school waiting for my friends. All of a sudden my vision blurred and I couldn't move. Anxiety kicked in, my heart pounded, and the pain got worse. I did my best to stand up and try to hobble my way home, which was about a mile away. I don't know how long it took, but it felt like days. I remember I kept on falling down and struggling to stand. The harder my heart raced, the worse the pain became. I can't remember getting home, or getting into bed. I just remember waking up the next day shaking, confused by where I was and what had happened. I was absolutely terrified.

Another one hit me a few days later, and another one the following week. I had no warning beforehand, the pain was sudden and terrible. I found that as long as I did my best to remain calm, I could make it home without blacking out, but the second I hit the bed I was out for hours, sometimes more than a day. The faster my heart beat, the worse the pain would become, so I became scared to do anything that would excite me. I gave up masturbating, I gave up any hobby that got my blood flowing, I gave up on just about everything out of fear of these pains.

Its been eight years since I last got hit by these pains, and I still live in constant fear of them. I have no idea what they are, or what causes them, just that nothing has ever felt nearly as bad as them. I've broken bones, I've had kidney stones, I've been hit by cars, I've been had ear infections that lasted months, and none of it has felt even a fraction as painful as these headaches.