As a Chinese American let me tell you those Chinese people are dumb and don't have a right to tell you you're not Asian.

You mentioned the eye thing and the small penis jokes? I'm guessing that's something you've experienced from people in America? See, it's ultimately these kind of experiences that make us Asian Americans identify as Asian American, this "othering" by American society that makes us band together, 'cause we all know in reality Asian cultures are hella diverse and we're not a monolith. It's how we're grouped together and marginalized by white people that ultimately makes us decide to identify as Asian, to reclaim that label, and to take pride in it.

So I'd be happy to call you my Asian brethren, as long as that's something you want to identify as.