Mom: * she had to go back to work after 16 years of being a stay at home mom. Now she believes she has earned the right to do absolutely nothing when she gets home from work unless it's the weekend because her "evenings are so short" (she actually goes into work two hours early so she gets off at 3 instead of the usual 5, so it's not like she works late at all). She refuses to go to the grocery store, rarely cooks, and refuses to go to restaurants or even drive thrus. She just sits at the computer and plays Spider solitaire until she goes to bed at 8. However, she expects me, a full time student who also works, to do everything that she doesn't want to.
She recently developed a habit of trying to clean or pick out food from her teeth with her tongue. All of a sudden you'll hear slurp tschhk click over and over. It's enough to throw you into a rage.
When she calls me and I don't answer, she always leaves a voicemail. Her two go-to messages are: "It's mom....... Call me back........ It's mom" or "HELLO???????"
she and my dad almost divorced several times and my dad hasn't lived with us for nearly 7 years. They recently got back together, but all she does is complain about him and she constantly has an attitude with him when he's here. Anytime he's mentioned she whines about everything she dislikes about him and then attacks him for little stupid things constantly. If I were my dad, I'd leave her ass again.
Dad * anything that slightly peaks his interest, he has to research relentlessly. The man spent 6 hours researching a stupid article he read on yahoo news, any detail he finds can spark a whole new search. So he can start out looking up HIMYM and we'll finally get him to stop hours later when he's looking up the hometowns of random actors who are very loosely connected to the original search.
When he gets bored or is focusing on something really hard, he starts this weird whistle-breathing thing. It'll last until you call him on it.
He is consistently late and takes forever to get ready. We'll call him at five and he'll just be getting ready to shower, then at seven we'll call again and he'll be walking out the door. What 50 year old man who doesn't shave everyday and doesn't do anything to his hair but brush it takes two hours to shower and get dressed? My dad.
Love them both though, they just drive me crazy.