Best friend asked me to be his best man. I was a mess at the time (anxiety, depression, hated everything about myself). The idea of being someone's best man freaked me out more than it should have.
A couple months before the wedding I decided to buy a one way ticket overseas. I told him I'd be happy to attend the wedding as a guest if I made it back in time, but he should find another best man because I don't know when that will be.
I ended up traveling for 16 months. I didn't really know where to go or what to do, so I ended up traveling 20 counteries.
One day it hit me. I literally uprooted my entire life, my entire lifestyle, traveled across the world, spent all my money... Because I was terrified of commitment. I was terrified of saying no. I was terrified about what people thought of me. And that's how I've been my entire life. I always run.
I came back home, we met up once since then, but it seemed weird... He probably doesn't even know why I left, but I do.
Maybe I'd patch it up with him if I could say I'm 100% better now... But I'm not, and I'm tired of making promises I can't keep. That's why we don't talk.