I don’t purposely do it. Why would I do that on purpose? That’s insanity.
I’m more moral than you. I don’t talk about Children of the Corn Only Fans. You and John Maus need your mouths washed out with zest fully clean. John Maus DOES like corn.
I only fantasize about John Maus before he was married. I don’t fuck him either. That’s boring. That’s what bonobos monkeys do when they’re bored. I can fuck on Wednesdays if I act awake.
I take a vial of his sweat when he’s not looking and sniff it in the dark. John Maus is like that kid from The Boy Who Could Fly in my fantasies. It’s really sweet. We’re holding hands, flying through the clouds. Oh, It’s his sweat from before Kika stole his water bottles when he was thirsty and sweaty, established the Funny Farm, and put a ring on it, so it’s a-okay.
He shouldn’t have shit in your sink! You should have put those turds in a brown paper bag, set it on fire, and did the old doorbell trick. That alien guy should have his nards stomped on for making that terrible movie. That was shit. He was okay when he tricked that smart girl with tears to help him cheat on that math test, but that alien guy was insufferable.
90’s feminist didn’t put up with that shit. Look at Courtney Love and those Dead Men Don’t Rape chicks.
You should have maced him and that alien guy like that smoothie girl with daddy problems did to Ariel. What kind of pink haired asshole doesn’t put out and treat a lady to Jamba Juice Acai Super Antioxidants? Maybe also grab them by the puny nads and twist? I wouldn’t put up with that bullshit.
Am I writing like a hipster again? I’m sorry, I have a faded mustache tattoo on my middle finger. I love bacon and ride a fixie in San Francisco. I look like Zooey Deschanel, and I’m on my period. Are hipsters still relevant? I am not relevant.
Your acting is still kind of mean. Maybe you can channel a sweet, misunderstood, and lovable troll.
I hope you feel nicer today. Just kick them in the nads! Invite John out for farm fresh corn and stomp on his beans.
Anyway, you scare me, and I will delete this.