Two years ago I dated a girl living in Poland. I had known her for a year before we started dating, and then one day we just got close. I dated her while I was there for a month, but then had to return home to the US for school. We continued the long distance thing via Skype for a while. I decided to work to go back over to visit her. A few months later, she ended up breaking up with me, sighting not the distance as the factor, or another man, but that there was too much of an age gap between us (she is nearly 6 years older than me). She said that she wanted to move on with her life and needed to look towards starting a family. After the break up, we still remained in as close of contact as one can be via the internet and she still wanted me to come and visit her over Christmas. Cutting to the interesting part, I ended up going, against the will of all my friends. I still believed there was a chance to get back together with her. After a few days of living in her tiny house, I was starting to go mad. Being so close to her without being close was killing me. I finally decided that something had to give. I don't remember how exactly it happened, but I convinced her into an open relationship. The next night we got into a conversation about unprotected sex. She confided in me that she tried it once and hated ever minute of it, and the next month after because she was always worried about getting pregnant. I had never had sex, but high school sex-ed had drilled into my head to never have unprotected sex. After the conversation, we went out and had a few drinks. Next thing I know, we were in bed together. Cutting further to the chase: After a few minutes of the best head I still have ever received, she pulled off. "I can't do this," she said. "Why not?" I asked, trying to hide my anger/shock that I was being left in the upright and locked position. "Because it is too bonding," she said, "I don't want you to grow too attached to me anymore." What the hell does that mean I asked myself. I was young and really wanted that blowjob. "Fine," I finally said, realizing that there was nothing I could say to her to make her go back down. After what could have been the longest 20 minutes of my life, she asked me: "If we were to make love, would you know when you were going to finish?" The words danced around my head. Make love? I could have sex! "Would you know when you were going to finish" she wants me to pull out??? Why, I have condoms and she knows that? "Um, I am not sure, I have condoms over there" "I read somewhere that American condoms were not safe," she responded. There is no way that is true. Trojan is one of the most trusted names in the world! "How about I just wear a condom and then pull out anyway?" "No, I would feel safer if you didn't wear a condom," she said. Still to this day, I cannot believe that I actually asked this, but nonetheless, I did. "When was your last period?" "14 days ago" SHIT! SHE IS SUPER FERTILE; THERE IS NO WAY I CAN BARE BACK THIS ONE! I thought for what seemed like a year. All of our conversations about family plus the unprotected sex story from earlier that night came into my head. For some reason I cannot explain, even though I know the odds are still relatively low, I knew that if I made love to her, I would have gotten her pregnant. In the end, I ended up refusing sex. Since then I have had sex, been with a hand full of other girls, but even after moving on, I still know that I love her. I know that it seems silly compared to other people's actually hard life problems, but still, that was the hardest choice I have ever had to make. TL;DR I was offered unprotected sex by my foreign ex-girlfriend who, I am pretty sure, was ovulating. I chose not to do it.