But it makes me wonder how many gears you have to change to fit in with the various social groups you find yourself in.
I wrote you a pretty long response but didn't want to send it publicly. You are spot-on correct. Truth is: We both sit there, lie, smile and deal with it. Because the alternative is to say FU and lose friends.
I think this is why I love NYC so much. I worked for a guy who was worth over $100 million dollars. He used to roll out of bed and ride the subway to work every morning in his pajamas. He'd go to the gym in the basement of the building and then shower, put on a suit and go to work. (he paid someone to deal with his laundry & clothes) If you saw him on the train/subway you'd think he was a smelly, homeless person. The hardest part of everything for me and for us is that we are normal people and it's honestly a really lonely place to be. Really lonely. And... the only cross I bear is burdening my wife with money.
Nobody knows. All this work I've been doing on the house isn't even for us. Her dad's 60th is in a few weeks. We just bought a new house. She's gonna give him the keys to this place. Today she paid the last payment on the mortgage here. We are literally going to hand her dad the keys to this place and he (or her whole family) have no clue. We've hinted but it'll be a BIG surprise and he has no idea that we paid the mortgage and she owns it.
Your assumptions are spot on. Take everything you assume and multiply it by 1000 and that's where I'm at. I didn't even meet her --she met me... (her friend walked her over to me and introduced us) It's just shitty. And owning my business makes it worse because I pay my employees (meaning I know what they make, etc.) You can't just be you --everyone always wants something... or you always have to have your guard up in case they want something. F them all. Like her work friends harass the shit out of her because I "made her" sign a prenup... We established that her house is hers, my apartment is mine, we set up a trust fund for our unborn kids education, we agreed on some things like we'll put the home in a trust in the kids name and the kids live in the house regardless of who gets custody (this way same schools, etc.)... and... my dad was a f'n drunk who cheated on my mom. I gave her a bunch of money free & clear as a gift. Enough that our relationship is VERY equal --and she won't ever think twice about kicking my ass to the curb if I'm ever a deadbeat. All these f'n assholes at her work are ripping on me for "making her sign a prenup" that says I just gave her a shit-ton of money that I can never take back... What do you do in a situation like that... You F'n smile, grin, bear it, suck it up, lie....
Because honestly when we go to fundraisers & events they don't get it either. It's like we are an anomaly. I actually love and care about my wife and I don't give a flying F about the money. The only reason why I didn't give her more than 25% was because I need operating capital for my business --and if I needed to borrow from her then it would expose her to liabilities from me & my work. None of these other guys would ever (not in a million years) give up cash like that to their wives (free & clear, no strings attached). So we are fucked every way you look at it.
None of it matters. She's awesome and amazing. I look at her and want little ones like her --and I'd clean toilets if that's what it took to put food on the table. Grass is always greener. Be careful what you wish for. Money sucks and does NOT buy happiness.