I hear you. it was such a mindfuck to realize this.

It really was. I just assumed this was just understood. In all my years, I never encountered something different. I think the universe is always teaching you, I guess.

but i've come to see that in my case, it wasn't actually a big show. they mean it as much as they could at the time... it's just the persistence and coming back to reality (''oh hey this is a person who needs, expects, and wants more than i want to give, not my MPDG! better withdraw and gaslight!!'') that is the problem. when they're not living in reality, they do have real feelings.

I think that's very observant. I think also that some people become so focused on themselves, they don't look around at how they impact others. I see it a lot on Reddit in regards to how immature people in relationships behave. She wants me to answer her texts? Too controlling! It's like people just forget the basic decency involved in any sort of relationshipping.