I somewhat have this same issue. I recently got the phimosis fixed by stretching it with some cream my doctor gave me for it. It’s still a tight fit but at least it goes back now without hurting which is a huge quality of life improvement imo.

That said I could always pull it back fine when I was soft, so it’s not like the head wasn’t used to being touched since I cleaned it in the shower etc. But it still stings quite a bit if you try to clean it with a wash cloth so just use my fingers to rub the body wash in. Basically anything that has friction is a solid no. Also it’s always been a little uncomfortable for the first few seconds of water hitting it when it’s uncovered in the shower but within a couple of seconds it’s fine.

But yeah, I had always just jerked off with the skin left forward so still do that. Not really sure what’s the point of needing the head out if you’re just pumping one out with your hand.

Bigger issue for me has been how long I last for oral has gone way down (like less than a minute) since my gf figured out that as soon as she focuses on the skin web thing attached to the bottom of the head under the skin then it’s game over for me. Which annoys me a bit but I think her goal is just to get it over with as quickly as humanly possible. On the other hand the frequency of her wanting to do oral has gone way up so it’s not a bad trade off imo.

We also tried actual sex again last week. Previously it was painful for both of us and basically it was fine for me now but she still says it’s a bit painful due to the girth so not really sure what to do about that.