No, I get your point.

Let's go with what you're saying. Leia and Holdo chastising Poe helped him grow. We see this at the end. Poe is likely going to be one of the leaders, if not the leader, of the Resistance. Rey is a rash character and often rushes headlong into battle. Let's pretend that Rey does something stupid because she didn't listen to Poe and it hurts the Resistance. Do you honestly believe that if Poe chastises Rey for not thinking that this is pushing a patriarchal agenda or is it just plot? Let's say that Jannah has live her when life on Kef Bir. The First Order shows up and they appear benevolent at first. Jannah is naive and believes them. So Finn tells her to look closer and he tells her about the atrocities of the First Order. Is that a patriarchal agenda or just plot?