Understanding is not the same as empathy. I understand why racists are the way they are, but I just don’t give a shit, because their ideology’s singular effective purpose is to harm other people for no reason. Plenty of people have the same problems and concerns as they do and are NOT terrible human beings because they made attempts to have empathy for others. Their political tactics are also contingent on hijacking emotional space and attention from well-meaning centrists and constant appeals to “hear both sides” which they use to spread their ideas, recruit new members, and gaslight the populace, so yeah, I just don’t want to hear it anymore.
I just don’t have time to empathize with nazis/racists/homophobes/what have you. They clearly don’t intend to empathize with anyone else. It’s fine if you personally want to hold hands and try to convince them to start acting like reasonable people by nurturing them and giving their feelings special attention while ignoring the people their existence actually hurts, but there is no reason to talk down to people who just don’t want to give them any more ground.