What kink can you just not understand?

I didn't mention your linking this to pedophilia/child molestation because that was not what the comment you responded to was even about.

However, let's go ahead and talk about the subject you focused on: sex with minors.

The idea certain types of porn can simulate what a person is looking for, is absolutely correct, but only to a point.

I don't often speak about this in a public forum (for obvious reasons), but I have a brother serving life in prison for child molestation. My sister and I were his first victims.

Please don't presume to know what I do, or do not, understand. I have done a great deal of study on this subject, in an effort to try to understand. To understand what made him do what he did, to understand why we had to go through what we did. What could possibly, in his mind, justify what he was doing.

My research could only take me so far, not being a psychiatrist myself, or a behavioral expert of any sort. So, I needed to talk to the only person who might be able to at least explain their side of the situation.

So, over the years since his conviction I worked really hard to move down a path towards forgiveness since I wouldn't be able to speak with him at all unless that came first. I wanted to understand, not condemn.

Once I felt ready I contacted him and we corresponded for several years (I later ceased contact for unrelated reasons), and had quite a few in-depth discussions about what motivates him to do the things he did. I can to understand that had nearly as little idea of why as I had. It's just how he was wired. He's attracted to children, and given that we lived in an exceedingly isolated area we were the only children 'at his disposal.'

I understand and accept that he cannot control what he's attracted to any more than I can, but believe me when I say that there is no 'safe and responsible' porn out there whatsoever that would have even remotely satisfied his urges.

It would be nice if there was a way to 'fix' or even satisfy the urges people like this have, without harming anyone in the process, but we still no so little about why they are the way they are. So, unless you know of a way to "safely and responsibly" simulate the sexual domination of a seven year old child, guess again.

Please forgive the length of this comment, but you apparently struck a nerve.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent