(Engilsh is not my primary language so If there are any mistakes I hope that you correct me so I learn something new atleast.) Im about to lose all my hope.

I've always been the outcast. Last thing I have right now is a really close friend. How close you would say? Well I'd die for her and I wouldn't give a shit about myself. But these days when I feel very bad and talk to her she is saying things like " at one point we will stop talking. With time all the friendships gets weakend and ends at one point". Which I told her that I don't belive this. I told her that we enjoy our time together and we never fight. She does say that we are really close. But still belives that our friendship will end at one point. And I told her that I don't belive this and if it's true if it's gonna end i'd rather to die before that happens I said. Now she's telling me that if I decide to suicide even after our friendship is over she would feel guilty. I told her that I can't let you feel like this you can be sure that I won't suicide at any point. And Im not suicidel or never even tought to do it and I won't.

I don't trust people I got betrayed a lot of times and other times I always got outcast. So Im not making any new friends cause I don't and can't trust anyone at this point. If I lose my only and best and close friend I don't know what would I do. Im not economicly in a good spot nor pchcologhy. I hate living at this point and there's nothing I can do about it. This what I wrote is not even %20 of my problems. Wish it was. I want to tell anyone about me but I have almost nobody. I wanted someone to support me I find one but this is all I got. And she don't talk like it's a life time thing.