On the other hand, I was a "gifted child" that grew up being told that hard work was the only way to achieve goals, and thinking I was an idiot because of undiagnosed ADHD and a learning disability my parents chose not to tell me about.

Around December last year I bottomed out on the hard work. It was too much. Working 4 days a week, doing my PhD, writing articles and prepping for conferences, submitting abstracts, trying to maintain a social life, look after a new puppy, trying to find time to do things I enjoy. It was too much. I crashed hard. And now I feel like a failure because in my head, all I think is that I'm just not working hard enough. I'm without a goal for the first time in my life, and I've never felt so lazy. I'm back living with my parents doing shit all with my life.

Being told that you need to work hard is good -- it's benefited me a lot growing up and into adulthood. But being told that you're good at something is also important. That your work is of value, that you are of value. Otherwise you'll end up working yourself to death like I almost did.