My parents were abusive. That left me (a man) with a wholly inaccurate perspective on what love is fundamentally, and on what a normal relationship is. My feelings are often times misguided. Through mindfulness meditation, I’ve discovered cynical and narcissistic thought patterns that were so deeply ingrained in my mind, I wasn’t even aware of them or of their impact on my feelings and behaviors. My learning to trust has been a process of both coming to terms with the mistakes my parents made, and the subsequent toxic tendencies of my own. It’s been years of self-work, on a fundamental level of thought, and I still feel like I have years to go before I’ll be healthy enough to start dating again. And it starts primarily for me with becoming self aware, and humbly empathetic.