I replied to a similar post about a year ago, and I'd like to share it with everyone in the hopes that even just one person will take it to heart and not go down the same path I did. Please excuse me copying a prior post of mine, but it really stands true for this question and if it can change the life-path of just one person, I'll be forever grateful:
My mistake was that I put work before everything else and therefore was unavailable for the most important person in the world when she needed it the most.
When I started my job, I ended up getting sent to another state about 700 miles away. My wife couldn't come with me due to obligations she had at home. Obviously this was far from ideal, but it was an opportunity to get in on a very good career and I figured I was making an investment in the future and once things settled down later on we'd be set. It's going to suck for now, but I'll fly home every time I can and within a few years I'll be making very good money and this hardship will be but a distant memory as we enjoy the life I'm working hard to give us.
Training lasted about three years and it was brutal. Most people didn't make it through. Getting time off during training was not a reality, and if you even asked for it it would be considered career suicide. I came home on weekends whenever I could, but that wasn't always a possibility, as my training demanded an enormous amount of studying and I often couldn't get away. On one of my trips home I got my wife pregnant. I was nervous and excited. Now I have even more reason to make sure I make it through training!--I have more of a family to care for. Just let me get through this and I'll eventually be able to transfer home and all of this hardship will one day be a distant memory as we enjoy the life I'm working so hard to make for us.
Daughter was born. I wasn't there. Couldn't get away from work in time.
Continued working toward certification and being hopeful toward an eventual transfer home.
Daughter was sick. Not sick like the flu; sick like she had a lot of problems when she was born and they weren't going away.
Christ, I'd better make sure I'm not the next guy to get cut. I need to be able to provide for all the medical work she needs. Work harder, show them that you can do it, and they won't wash you out of training like they did to that guy last week. Come on man, your wife and daughter need you!
Daughter died. Wasn't there. Couldn't get away from work in time.
Wasn't there for my wife. Wasn't there for my daughter. Hey, I'm providing, right?
That was five years ago.
I made it through training. A year later I got a transfer home. My wife and I tried to just move on with life. We did for awhile. Five years went by. Bought a house, settled down, and we're ready to live the life that I've worked so hard to provide for us!
A few months ago she told me that she hasn't been happy in years, she hasn't loved me in years, and that she was leaving. She left.
She was right to do it. Looking at me every day reminded her of it. I would hate me too if I were her.
So here I am. Guess what--I got what I was working so hard for. I make around $200k a year. I own a four-bedroom house where I currently live all by myself. I spend all day cleaning it and while I'm doing that I leave the TV on so that the deafening silence doesn't bother me. At night I lie on the couch watching TV until I fall asleep because I don't like being in the bedroom all alone.
But I got what I was working for. After all, you want to be able to provide a good life for your family, right?
So who did I hurt the most? I don't know. My wife? Possibly. My daughter? Daddy wasn't there when he should have been.
No, it was myself. That's who I hurt the most. I hurt all of us, but in the end I did this to myself and I have nobody to blame but me.