I'm in love with my barista.

I know that it's fairly common these days to have a crush on the person who serves you coffee several times a week, but his is different. I'm about to be 26, I'm a geeky white guy, but I think I'm fairly good looking, but she's only 20, maybe 21 by now, so that was what made me stay away from her at first, I thought I was just a little too old for her, but things have gotten so much worse in the past 6 months.

I've been with some beautiful women, I'm no Don Juan but I know how to spit game, but this girl is on another level. At first i thought, "oh she's very cute, but she's just another pretty girl, I'll get over it, I'd like to keep going to this coffee shop and don't want to embarrass myself by asking out this girl," but it's only gotten worse.

I really don't know that much about her, but it's like we play this cat and mouse game every time I go there, and I've told a close friend or two that I have a little crush on this girl, but the truth is I can't stop thinking about her, she's on my mind constantly, but its torturpous because I feel like I missed my window. Now I think she might be kind of annoyed by me, and I understand why, I go in there all the time, as I always have long before she worked there, but I think it's obvious now and she is weirded out by me, I try not to look in her direction if I don't have to, but it's impossible, I seriously have never seen anything more beautiful, and every woman I'm with, I don't even want to be with, I just want to be with the barista.

Now I'm tortured by the thought that she thinks I'm creepy, or even worse, that she wanted me once and now thinks I'm a laughable coward. I think about her when I wake up in the morning and when i go to sleep at night. I know she comes from money, and a seemingly religious family, which is one of the reasons I stayed away, I didn't fancy dating a virigin and the inevitable fallout from me constantly pushing the issue, but now I don't even care. I would sacrifice sex for years if it meant being with her, hearing her voice every day and being by her side, I would give anything to be able to tell her what i want, but I don't know how to say it and I think it's been built up too much now.