What is the most embarrassing or cringiest thing you will reveal about yourself not using a throwaway account?

I'm digging deep for this one, so bear with me.

Back in 11th grade, I was (as I still am 5 years later) struggling with my sexuality. As a 17 year old young man, all the pressure in the world, from your parents to your teachers, friends and acquaintances seemed to sit on how you identify yourself and how you want to others to perceive you. The story begins here, where I made the mistake of putting a mask over who I was and who I wanted to be, a decision which weighs heavy on my mind even today.

I was a "smart" kid in high school, meaning people expected great things from me. However, my abhorrent laziness and lack of motivation for pretty much anything at all put me in a spot where I did the least amount of work possible to maintain good grades while in advanced classes, classes which my group of friends were excluded from. Essentially, to most of my classmates, I was the underachiever who wasted potential both academically and socially(many of my High school friends were racist, homophobic, shit-stirrers or otherwise unsavory characters). I spent mostly every day in misery, ignored by the classmates I looked up to, and held up to bigger standards than I could meet by my friends. Aside from lunch with my friends, and standard classroom conversations with strangers, I kept myself tucked away from the rest of the world.

For a while this was okay with me. I spent time goofing off after school blowing up Axe cans in my buddy's backyard, or watching MMA for hours, or eventually getting a part-time job when I turned 17. But as you may have guessed, most teenagers have ambitions for other things. I say other things because I was different. While the world around me had slowly changed into a miasma of sexualization, alcohol and drugs, gangs, and violence, I felt myself break off from the rest of the world. I imagine some people would try to avoid these things, save for one. As it would happen, most people my age really wanted to fuck each other. Caught in the middle of a world I couldn't understand, I made a plan. I would have to hide my asexuality from the world, and play the part of the nice guy who can't score, because that seemed a hell of a lot easier. So I did what any pathological liar would do, and invest time into a lie of this magnitude. In my head, I had to convince people, lest I be rejected as some kind of freak. So I had to fail horribly at dating, publicly, to establish the lonely virgin image.

What comes next is the most cringeworthy thing of my entire life.

I chose someone seemingly at random, a girl in my psychology class who I sometimes would correspond with via facebook. She had her email listed on her account, so being the sly devil I am, I created an email address using our school's name and some random numbers, and sent her several overly cheesy, romantic love poem(no I don't still have them). I expected her to be freaked out, figure out who I was (I left hints) and tell her friends what a weirdo I was, which would cement me as an outcast, but relatively normal. However, it would happen that not only did she know who it was immediately, but she had developed feelings for me as well.

Fuck.

Without the ability to backpedal without drawing suspicion to myself from my friends, I went on a date with my "crush". Standard enough, I though a movie date was a perfect way to ruin any chance I had with this girl, if I played my cards right.

To make a long story short, we spent 15 minutes hanging out before getting tickets, before I "suddenly" realized the movie we had planned to see was showing at a different time, forcing us to watch some extremely uninteresting film for the sole purpose of having too much pride to do something else. So we enter the theatre, and once the movie starts, I think of a plan. Over the next half hour, I would pretend to fall asleep, hoping to make a fool of myself, and that would be that. Well. She stuck around, left after the movie was over and we never spoke again.

And that's it. The mission, although more elaborate that originally intended, had succeeded. I still wear that mask to this day, although I'm closer to coming out to those I hold dear with each passing day.

TL;DR: I fake an interest in a classmate to avoid coming out, awkwardness ensues.

/r/AskReddit Thread