What is the most NSFW thing you have seen someone openly do in a public place(NSFW)?

I'm a bartender and sadly I've seen more than I'd ever like. And seriously, why is it always the ugliest and fattest of the customers that feel the need to take their clothes off? I usually don't care what a person looks like, but if I have to look at your drunken attempts at sex, at least leave the shirt on if you're hundred pounds overweight.

One time I was working in a bar-slash-restaurant, it was Saturday, but fairly early early, maybe nine o'clock.

It wasn't busy at the bar side yet, so I went to see if the waitresses need any help. As I'm passing one of the tables, a customers tugs on my shirt, "excuse me, but those people at that table are bothering me." I'm used to that, 90% of the time "bothering" means they're being loud - what a surprise in a bar. There are times when I can shush my customer but Saturday evening is not one of them.

"I'm sorry but there isn't much I can do about this, at this hour it's normal people are loud," I answered automatically, the customer looked at me like I was being crazy, I turned around... There it was.

A middle aged man was licking a nipple of a half naked, very obese and extremely ugly woman of about the same age. Right there, in the middle of a restaurant. What. The. Fuck.

It tool all the courage I had to walk over, "erm... Excuse me... Could you, like, not?" I really couldn't even put together a sentence.

Of course they ignored me, so I had to get a bouncer. He didn't believe me until he saw it.

And one (of many such experiences) more, once I was working at a study party and a couple of teenagers (of course, the only fat and ugly girl at the whole party again) who really though that the doorway which led from a bar to the dishwashing area was a place no one would see them fucking. Granted, it was one floor up from the main bar and it was dark and late, but... Really? They were obviously inexperienced, drunk, and the guy (half her size) was really, really struggling holding the girl up. The bouncer I called there (in that place I wasn't allowed to interfere with problematic customers myself) burst out laughing when he saw that.

/r/AskReddit Thread