Finally my time to shine! Buckle up buckaroos:
So me and my friends were the only ones sober at a party, 'cause we were too cool cough to drink before we turned 18 (Europe, my man).
Anyway, this was back in the Bad Romance days, and we were cringy teens totally sexy dancing to some sick beats. As I turn around I see this couple eating, and I mean eating each others faces. Imagine the most drunk-ass sloppy "toddler-trying to eat" movements.
We just ignore them and continue dancing, at some point I turn around again and now the guy has his hands waayy down her pants. As in somebody's digging for treasure in the water caves.
The music continues and we're screaming "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES" when I'm swung around and boof, like a classy lady, she's on her knees blowing his socks off in the middle of the dance floor. Like, if you flop two times to the right, that's how close we were to this shit.
I guess they realised that people were staring, and went outside to complete the sloppy business.
Some songs later I see one of my cousins totally devouring this chick's head, sloppy doggy kisses all over and they even fall on the drink table, spilling glorious European liquid everywhere. Nice man, take it outside.
My friends tell me that at this very moment I had a look that could only be described as priceless when I realised that the girl was the same on that had given the other dude the old lollipop treatment some time ago.
In the end, after it was all said and done, I found my cousin outside taking a drag and when I asked him if he knew that the girl he literally and figuratively ate had blown some other dude right before he answered:
"Yeah, I was outside watching."