Thank you for the thought.
This was over four years ago now and time heals all wounds...
I think the part that was hardest to let go of was the fact I didn't think there was anything wrong with her trying them. Was just supposed to be a unique experience after being raised super straight edge, and never doing anything like it before.
I could have stopped her. Convinced her not to. Taken them away or something.
I didn't. I didn't see anything wrong with the idea.
"It was her day off, she should be able to enjoy it right?" Was the last thought I had after leaving for work and kissing her before I left.
Instead of enjoying her day off, she died at only 20 years old.
Oh well. Can't change anything now.
I'm mostly healed but it is still a bit raw.