A long time ago when i was ten or nine i was visiting my dads house, my step brother and my cousin were over, my dad lives on a ranch on the outer parts of town, as a kid i never really beleaved bad things can happen where im from, i live on the rosebud reservation in south dakota and the bad stories about child rape and stealing, i heard as a kid i never beleaved cause well i thought "if i didnt see it it wasnt real" and i trusted everybody but my father and my step mom left to go drinking for the night, so we were left alone, later in the night we started to play some games, call of duty was pretty popular at the time and i loved it that me and friends were play "war" a lot with stick guns and nerfguns and he made up a game called "terrorists" and we played along, the objective was for me to wait thirty minutes with my nerf gun in the living room and run in to save my cousin from "being killed", i only waited one minute cause i didnt like how long the game was, so i dropped the act and went back to my room the room my stepbrother was "holding him hostage" but couldnt open the door, after my few attempts to push my way in, i saw my cousin crying and gagged while on his stomach as my step brother was holding him down with his belt undone, after he saw me he got off him and smiled saying it was apart of the game, i was shocked and was about to scream but he then went to the living room and we followed, i think we both were scared and didnt want to go against a "big kid" after following him he put on porn onto the tv, im 17 now and about to turn 18 but i still think about that night, now i dont trust anybody in my family or even if they are my friends, i lock everydoor and sleep with knifes but as a kid after that i just slept with a little pocket knife that my brother gave me, but i wasnt so cautious as i thought i was as later in the month i was molested by a daughter of the guy who my mom was dating, this didnt help me with my trust problems and shoved me further down and kept me down for a long time and it still does, i still think about that night and now it takes me a super long time to trust people and when im having sex my neck cant be touched and i walk everywhere with a knife even if its to the store.