The plot has potential. It's classic sci-fi story. You can definitely draw a parallel to real life, the way society molds you into a specific career path that you have to follow and embody. And all good sci-fi comments on real life.

Your game play concepts are a tad undeveloped. I think the next step is to just start slapping together something with a game engine, or partner with somebody that can. Or maybe even just draw mock levels and try to storyboard boss fights. It'll take form from there.

... Now it's time to plug my game! Try it out. I'm really desperate for clear feedback. I know it falls shorts but I want to hear why!