I Uunderstand where your coming from bro I used to be like that, but I used to work with this man, he was about 65 years old and he used to tell me the absolute craziest stories.... having a fuckin 5 five some and the best part was he was the only guy, he went sky diving, said he did DMT in Thailand with a bunch of people hes never met before and I think my favorite one was that he streaked a football game with 3 of his friends back in i think 1987 and i couldnt help but think wow, he really lived life to the fullest, so i guess what im saying it was fun and hiliarious to hear about those stories but i could only imagine how he must of felt looking back to those memories and i suggest something of similar sorts to you bro. Life doesnt happen to you, it happens for you.