What is one thing that became more clear as you got older?

First of all i was a antisocial kid. Got bullied for 4 years straight, we were 20 ppl in the class and none of them did anything to try stop it, or ask me if i was ok. There was 13 boys including me and 7 girls, 4 of the boys didnt really do anything to me. 1 was handicapped and 2 others were basically with the girls 24/7, and the last one was my childhood friend with ADHD and braindamage (meaning when he was 15 he was like a 10 yr).

As the days went on being harrased every day for that long i gave up on life, and started getting suicidal thoughts and wanted to go kill myself. eventually cut my self to keep the feelings locked inside me. When i came home one day, my mom asked if i was ok, cus i looked really down. At that point i couldnt hold it in anymore and started crying hysterically (am a guy the dosent really like to express my feelings, or tell them how i feel, and i never told her i wanted to kill myself/being depressed). I eventually told my mom what was going on and she notified the school. Things calmed down for a while and started again when i was in my 10th grade, but at that time i was so sick of them i started to set them straight that i was sick of their shit. After i lashed out at them a few times (punching and beating them) they rather stopped.

I did go outside and try be social but it didnt really work out (with the same ppl that builled me, cus the were the only ones going out and stuff), i was basically a tail that followed wereever they went. So i just stopped by the time i went to high school (11th grade?) construction class.

Am 19 now and i happend when i was around 12-16, and now a shut inn weeabo that plays games. Tho i have work (carpenter).

When i was a child i was thinking how good life was for everyone and how fun it was. Getting older and older, i was just getting slapped in the face by reality how shit life can be.

Shit this post got a bit long and depressing, but am know fine and just a shut inn not knowing how to socialize. So if u see anyone get builled just please reach out to them, and rather than ignoring it help them in someway or another (compliment them or just talk to them for 1 min or so to brighten their day).

/r/AskReddit Thread