Since I was young (about 9) my nephew would sexually abuse me (he was 12) he would force me to blow him, he would take me and threaten to kill me daily. It has only just stopped because I told him I wanted to keep away from him but the things he did that stick the most out was;

My mom was moving into a new house so I stayed with my nephew and my sister but because my mom and dad were struggling she went out to help. Me and him were alone and the next thing I knew I was being dragged by my hair into the kitchen and I was slammed against a wall, he began to choke me and put a knife to my throat. He told me I should kill myself as he knew I had depression. He pushed the knife to my throat and tried to slide it. In that moment I was calm for a strange reason. (I was 13 and he was 16 at this time)

He then threw me into the basement and raped me . All whilst he had the knife to my throat. I began to wonder after that day why I was so depressed and suicidal. I have tried over 12 times but backed out at the last minute, I hate being near him but we are family and so it stays that way. The last time he touched me was last year, I punched him and he just stopped.. I know his farther was extremely abusive and most likely did things to him but It mentally scared me for seven years.

It sounds trivial compared to the majority of the comments on here but it's nice to know that I can let myself go and know that I am safe talking to you guys. Oh and by the way I'm 16 years old now and he is 19. Nobody in my family knows, I can't tell them because I'm scared to. I don't want to as they will take his side and blame me. I'm fine now but sometimes I just have built come into my and I have a voice that constantly tells me it's my fault. This probably doesn't make sense...I'm Sorry.