What outright fucking sucks?

I've got 3 younger sisters (I'm 22) parents are divorced. I worked my ass off in a third shift job while still in High School (my senior Year) graduated and was not able to get fafsa due to my bad grades in community collage (I became homeless so I gave up on school) that hurt because I'm actually kinda smart and always looked forward to going to school to become a History Teacher. Me and my family have always been poor and it got worse after my parents divorced I was only 15 and I was the oldest. My dad was an alcoholic and disappeared for years. My mom would get $300 a week. Had to pay for bills a car ect. I couldn't help with anything (moneywise) until I was 18 then I got a job and graduated and went to collage.. Things started looking up until my mom decided to take a break.She became so depressed she left to Utah for a few months, she wanted to get her shit together. (I was 20 years old) so then My sisters and I were scattered. One with my aunt in Atlanta, another sister with grandma and one with an Aunt in Chicago. I felt bad because no one had more space for me.. So I would tell my mom and sisters that I was okay. But I was actually homeless. If not for my best friend who kept me in her basement for a few months (secretly) her family would have had a shit fit if they knew. Then out of no where my dad starts looking for me... He was all cleaned up and even had a new wife. As mad as I was at him for leaving us, I told him I was homeless and he took me in. I checked in with my mom and sisters periodically and eventually all my sisters moved in with my dad. My mom then came back and we moved in with her. I was working a $9 an hour job for a year and helped my mom pay for things at home. Well, one of my younger sibs went to jail and the other one got pregnant. It was all so expensive out of our minds. The gov would help but I felt like shit. I wanted to die. I had no health insurance or savings nothing :( I did get w beautiful and healthy nephew and my sister got out of jail. (Only to get preggo with her current fiancé) and well until a few months after that ...I auditioned for a singing TV show in Chicago and I made it into this famous TV Show on the Spanish channel (Univision) it was a singing competition BTW. It was a 14 week long competition, I made it to 13 of the 14 shows (semifinals) the final was BS though, it was all about money (who could pay more) which I never had. As a child I was sexually abused by a cousin so I would hide in boy clothes and it kinda ended sticking. I liked it now so I was the different one on the show but the millions of people that saw the show loved me. I was one of the favorites :) I thought it was gonna change my life and I would be able to make it big and help my family out. It changes my life because Hispanic people everywhere recognize me and take pictures with me and love me! But economically and career wise... No producer took me because I was a risk due to my masculine appearance. I just got out the show and am living with my mom in a two bedroom apt with all my sisters and my niece and nephew. We barely have food or anything. Everyone says I have talent. I'm friends with a lot of Hispanic celebs now and even have Ricky Martins acquaintance... But that didn't help me much. I'm still here depressed and poor... If I had money I would have launched my career alone. Fuck them discriminative record companies :/ but since I'm broke I needed them and they won't due to stupid shit. Oh well now I'm gonna make YouTube videos galore and give it all of got. I am a firm believer in God though and I love talking to Teens and telling them to never give up. I'm a suicide attempt survived and I'm a fighter... I get low though. But I'll make it someday and help my family get a home. So if your reading this your not alone. I send you a huge hug! God Bless you - Stephanie Guzman

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