What part of your personality do you fake?

A recent acid trip gave me some insights to my personality that I kinda wish I didn't know. There's "armor" all over my emotions. I'm kind of a steely person in general, like I've been compared to a real-life Ron Swanson (although perhaps a bit more introspective, calculating and emulative). I don't say that to brag, it's just how I've been raised and it's the simplest succinct comparison that most people understand, even if it isn't totally accurate.

Anyway, that trip stripped me of my "armor", manifested as a sort of numbness that I mistook for being hardened or tough. I realized I'm lonely, all the time, non-stop, and that even my dark humor is a clever mask over being hopeless. I've been faking being this dull, grey husk of a person, and I realized just how tired I was of that person. The numbness has since returned and my emotions have normalized, but the memory of them is quite near and distinct, and it left a pretty big mark.

I'm not sure what the results of this will be or even if I can survive it, only that it had to happen and that things are going to be different going forward. To answer the OP's question more directly, "a lot", at least emotionally.

/r/AskReddit Thread