I didn't know had bad I had it untill my doctor asked me how many times in a two week period I had suicidal thoughts. I thought I was just being hard on myself, I kept dwelling on stupid things or mistakes I made in my life, and I would think that I would be less of an embaressment if I where dead. I was to afraid to talk to anyone about it. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to afford therapy or medication, and that I'd have to tell my parents and they're pull me from school. But I finally built up the courage to talk to one of my instructors about it. They got me to find the help I needed. It's been over a year now and I'm doing better because I talked to someone. Please, don't be afraid to ask for help, go to your school counselor or HR people, or even a friend. You aren't alone.