In junior high at Valentine’s Day I got an anonymous singing telegram. People would donate to the choir club and their person of choice would get a few of the choir students to sing to them during one of the class times.

Well, when I was 13, in 8th grade, someone did that for me, the quiet chubby video game playing loner. They had to come to the front of the class and listen to the girls in choir sing “I’ve got a crush on you” to me in front of the entire health class. This was not long after we started delving into sex Ed. It was probably as awkward and uncomfortable as you’d expect.

After it was over I got back to my desk and tried to figure out who sent it, with no success. I soon felt embarrassed and took the gesture as a mean joke to play with my heart. Once I started thinking that, I rested my head on my desk defeated and feeling more alone than ever. When class ended, I just wanted to leave and booked it for the bus. Years later, and I don’t know who sent it. I’m okay with leaving that door closed, but it did leave an impression.

For the longest time I was certain some boys were trying to be funny and left it at that. I was not social back then and had few friends. It made sense at the time.

When I look back on it now though, I wonder if I just totally misunderstood it and just missed signals from girls at the time. If it was a girl back then who was interested in me that sent it, then I was completely oblivious. Missed opportunity or dodged bullet? I’ll never know.