I've posted about this before with an alt, but mine was with the most fascinating musician who seemed incredibly attentive and open minded. We are very different people: Ron is a short Irish drummer painted with elaborate tattoos and a ridiculous pointy beard, and I'm a very tall boring biologist. Chemistry was fire, though, so I was really excited about our date, which was meeting at a local grill with a jukebox and a bunch of truck drivers.

We had really great banter, just chattering and finding out we had a ton in common, and I was kind of nibbling on my fries, which I don't really love but self consciously picking at.

So I guess I put a small puddle of ketchup on my plate, ate a few fries, talked, put a bit more ketchup, nibbled fries, talked.

But out of nowhere Ron jumped up and yelled "OhMyGod just put more ketchup on your plate!!!" and beat a glass bottle of Heinz until it finally farted out an apparently appropriate ketchup puddle.

The drama startled the living shit out of me, but mostly I was completely put out by the policing of my goddamned plate.

I stood up, took my keys off the table, left a 20 and walked out. Jesus godsamned Christ I will never stop being grateful for discovering what a control freak Ron was that early, because I was so into him and had spent a few sleepless nights romatincizing our mismatched attraction.

Last time I posted this I got beat the fuck up on the thread and in a few PMs. Apparently it's common to show frustration with someone else's appetite?

Well, fuck you guys in advance of the criticism because no one tells me what to put in my goddamned mouth.