Oy. Where do I begin? We used to refer to this one friend as "The Rear Admiral", because he loved to smash the dinner.

Dude over shared like a motherfucker. He told a tale of hammering this girl's asspipe one night at some other friend's place. After the greasy deed he turned the light on and his pubes, twig and berries were caked in a thick coat of poop. He wiped up with a t-shirt he found laying on the floor, and then tossed it under his buddy's bed. Another time he had this psycho that loved having him put a big flashlight in her butt. They also played around with warm pudding. He'd fill up her butt with a pastry bag of it, and then squish his dick in. I guess this girl also loved drinking his pee. Some time later there was this other girl he was seeing that would let him brown the sausage out in his driveway super late at night in full view of randomly passing cars.