I get that. I cheated on a gf in high school and still feel bad about it. I told my current gf and luckily she understood and knows I still feel like shit about it.

Which was very understanding considering I met her right after she and her kids all found out that the dad had been cheating on her with a teenager at the age of 35.

She was loyal to a fault. Never cheated on anyone. Even after her ex moved in with the teenager, but changed his mind and begged my gf back, she gave him another chance. And guess what happened? He kept fucking the other girl.

Some people change, but most don’t. Some are just really good at pretending, or even believing their own bullshit until they’re faced with an opportunity to cheat.