This describes me exactly. I dont deserve to be here. My entire uni experience has been could have,would have,should have. I look back with nothing but regret and its the worst fucking feeling in the world. Its as if I just dont care about myself or my future because I certainly havent acted like I give a fuck.

I could have been a better student. I could have come out of the blocks flying in freshmen year and could have started assignments early, could have studied harder, and could have cultivated a serious work ethic. I could have networked and joined clubs and things. I could have gotten job experience. Instead I skated by and put the bare minimum effort. My marks were shit so i never got an internship, and my marks wont be good enough to get my masters which you need to do basically anything in my field.

My peers in comparison to me were so future oriented. They begun crafting themselves into such high-caliber people from day one of freshmen year. They knew that they had to join extra curriculars, meet people and network, build their resumes, get their marks up to get an intership, get their foot in the door before they even graduate, get their masters etc. I didnt think of any of that shit and now its bit me in the ass harder than I ever could have imagined.

Im in 5th year now because I didnt do my work last year and had to drop courses. I have no job experience, I havent had an internship, I have no network skills at all, I have no foot in the door at all. Im feeling completely fucked and like yourself I feel like complete shit when I think about all of the time and money that ive wasted to be here.