wife and i had 5+ failed pregnancies.
now have two babies.
if our first several pregnancies had been successful we would have stopped trying to have children and our now-children would never have existed.
likewise, getting gearing up to be a parent and then losing your child is incredibly sobering and maturing as a result our two surviving kids have a father that is deliberate, decisive, competent, capable, etc.
those first kids that didn't make it would have had a father that was not ready or even sure how to be a father.
so it worked out the way it was always supposed to.
as basically everything everywhere always does.
it just never usually feels that way at the time.