She was a mother to me. I had lived with her and grandpa for my entire life. And there she was, lying in her death bed, in our small surbuban, home about 6 years ago. Cancer had already claimed granddad a year prior, and now it was going for her, my grandmother. Ovarian cancer caught early enough to spare her ten years, had finally caught up.

My family, a group of maybe nine, was also in our home. They were saying their goodbyes as I sat on the living room couch, with nothing more emitting light then a small lamp in the corner. It was desolate seen. My grandmother took pride in this living room, the living room she took care of for many years. She tried to keep it pristine, and we even taught our dog not to go in it. But in the last year, her health began to decline rapidly. She stopped caring for the house as much and instead had to seclude herself to her room, more and more.

While sitting on that couch, I remember back to the first sign of trouble. Eight months prior, I asked how her tests had come back. But she didnt give me a straight answer. She eventually confided in me they had found new growths. I didnt understand. She assured me it would be alright. And I believed it. But I soon realized, it wasnt going to be alright.

As I go into her room, on this calm night, I see my grandmother sitting up in her bed, with a peaceful and loving smile. We talked for a little bit, and in the end, she told me that I should tryout for the highschool baseball team in the spring if I wanted to. She told me she just wanted me to be happy. I nodded. For all the years past, thats all my grandparents ever wanted of me. They just wanted me to be satisfied. And in her moment of death, she still cared for her family more than she cared about herself.

I gave her a long hug, as tears rolled down my face. I didnt want to let her go. I didnt want to say goodbye. I didnt want to lose the person who was closest to me. I didnt want to give up on the person who never gave up on me. This lady, who taught me how to love, who comforted when I was in pain, who provided me with everything I ever had, was leaving. I looked away as I let her go one last time and walked to the door. I didnt want her to see me. I didnt want her to know.

On that night, part of me died in that room. And for the first time in my life in this world, I felt alone. That was the saddest day of my life.