My lack of emotional sympathy. I've been under the guise that I care about other peoples feeling for years now. None of my friends know how actually cold and un-caring I am. I love them as my friends but they don't have even the slightest idea of the fucked up, sadistic shit that goes on in my head on a daily basis. I can't tell them. I can never tell them. There are very few people in the world who legitimately understand what it's like to be a cold, uncaring person. I'll put it into perspective like this: If you've ever cried or acted violently over something that someone said or did, you have zero idea what it's like to be me. I feel basically no emotions. I just don't. I stay in an upbeat and positive attitude since that's who I am but when you really get to the core of me, I'm a sadistic, cold and perverted person. I can never tell my friends. I love them and want them to understand this but as much as I hate saying it, it takes an extremely special person to truly get where I'm coming from and my friends, along with the majority of Reddit, literally cannot understand what it's like to truly and whole heartedly not give a shit about anything. This includes peoples emotions, concerns and sensitivities.