For interactions with the police:

Officer putting on gloves while speaking with you...intimate contact with pavement is imminent.

Officer responding to abusive language/failing to obey commands or lawful orders/resisting arrest with a smile or soft-spoken words..intimate contact with pavement or being pulled out of your vehicle through an air vent is imminent.

Officer observes driver with his/her hands on the wheel, interior light on (if time of darkness), and doesn't suddenly reach for items without being asked...indicates to the officer that the driver has common sense or has had the concept of officer safety explained to them and as a result is inclined to issuing a warning (providing driver does not have a horrible driving record/suspended license). Kissing ass, admitting guilt, etc. is not wanted or necessary. Acting like a normal human being and complying with a simple request of "License and registration please.." goes a long way.

If you are ever charged with "Disturbing the Peace" or "Disorderly Conduct"..the Judge, States Attorney, bailiffs, and everyone else in the courtroom in the know will know without a doubt you are an oblivious idiot that couldnt take the 10 hints the arresting officer gave you to leave or go away. Unless his/her patrol area is Mayberry or very sleepy town..the officer is way to busy to waste an hour or two of arresting/processing some goober wanting to making a spectacle of him/herself.

"Two drinks" is the universal code for "Im drunk" when asked by an officer how much you've had to drink that night. Also, you might as well place a huge neon sign over your head saying "Heeyyyyyy, I've been drinking!!!" when you pop 4 sticks of gum in your mouth to disguise the smell of alcohol on your breath. Inside tip: it doesn't disquise the smell..it ENHANCES it. Goof.