All right. Buckle up. This is a long one.
Worst (best?) wedding I ever went to was for a guy I had known for a week. This was an early June wedding and I had just started working with the groom at a Mexican restaurant the week before. A couple days after I started, I randomly bumped into the guy at chipotle and he extended a gracious invitation to his wedding that Saturday night, right there in the burrito line.
Now I had no intentions of going as I was scheduled to work that night and didn't get off until 11 and I had only known the guy for two shifts worth of time, but once Saturday rolled around, our coworkers convinced me and a new guy (literally his first shift- had never met the groom before) to come along. I was 19, I figured at the very least I'd get some free booze, and the wedding was literally a mile from my house so if necessary I could walk home.
We get there and it was a freaking rager. We're talking keg stands, drug use, streaking, you name it. You can tell that me and new guy at work were not the only "chipotle line" invitees, and we felt a bit better. Every single person this couple has ever encountered is at this party, but that's when we realize that the couple themselves were the only ones missing.
After hotboxing the line cook's car right in front of the ceremony arch, we get out and find the groom, shirtless and wasted recounting the tale of consummating his marriage, which we quickly learn he had just accomplished in the woods behind the house. Groom is in wonderful spirits and we begin to play Beirut with whole glasses of wine. New guy got so wasted that he spilled his red wine all over my skirt. I realized it was time to go.
As I was gearing up to leave, groom comes at me and other coworker tongue first. I was able to dodge the attack, but the groom was successful in planting a juicy French kiss right on my other coworker who kisses him right back. I fled the scene.
Long story short: this guy's wedding was a banger... but I don't recommend doing any of this stuff if you plan to remain married.
I don't know what happened to Rob. I hope he and his wife are doing well. "New guy" and I got married last year. Our wedding was nothing like this.
TLDR: Avoid inviting guests verbally in line at fast food restaurants, try to wait until after the reception to consummate your marriage, maybe take the drinking games easy, and don't make out with your wedding guests and you should be fine