ugh it sucks cause he's not a bad person at all. he doesn't emotionally or physically abuse me. hes a great person overall, we are so compatible and i love him and everything its ridiculous. its just this one thing about where I live and shit that gets to me. And I have no reason to distrust him but I have crazy trust issues and I know I am very irrational with these thoughts of him wanting other people and everything, it makes me want to run away even more to SD and not be around anyone. I guess I just don't know what to do, since its a bunch of things that trouble me. I have a bs in cognitive neuroscience, working in alzheimers disease research as well as an MRI tech. Research job is ok but it pays shit so I work as a MRI tech part time to be able to pay all my shitty student loans back. I fuckin hate MRI but I moved back to the bay to get this license to be able to get a job remotely related to my degree. I thought the research job was my dream job but after a year I realize I don't give a shit about it and i thought about getting a PhD but there is absolutely nothing that I am that passionate about that would make me want to spend another assload of money to go through. I just feel stuck where I am in all aspects. Im about to take this MRI job full time to and quit research so i can make bank so i can get a place with a backyard and eventually a dog (because i feel like a dog might make things a little better) And i love my boyfriend, he's the only thing that distracts me from my anxieties for the most part but my whole issue with living the bay area does instigate some heated discussions. i don't know, sorry to dump all my shit out all of a sudden. i just don't know what to do.