Ohhh man. So, when I was a kid, my mom was a little unstable and sort of desperate for male attention. This, coupled with the fact that we're from Northeast Tennessee, means that she always managed to date/marry some real classy motherfuckers. One day, I guess I'm around 13 or so, her current catch (Rodney) comes in from mowing the lawn super worked up over something. After a minute or two, he is finally calm enough to explain what was wrong: it was day, and he could see the moon. And that ain't right. I was a huge nerd as a kid, and dreamed of being an astronaut. I knew a lot about space, and especially the moon. He happened to say this in front of one of a handful of kids that knew the cycles of the moon. I tried to explain to him that roughly 14 out of 29 days, the moon was visible during the daytime. He wouldn't have it. He was convinced Jesus was coming right then. Like, yelling at us all to start praying as he called his pastor. Jesus was coming. It took a few phone calls for him to calm down enough to finish mowing the lawn. Sometimes I wonder how life is treating that guy.