Without question, my SB and I have gone vanilla pretty recently. Obviously we fight, we have conflict. She shares with me a lot about her life.

However, even with struggles, difficulties and traumas, she still remains a very optimistic person, and keeps that energy in our relationship. That in turn keeps me positive in our relationship and we just end up with an endless positive feedback loop that makes both of our lives better.

Just because someone remains positive doesn't mean they don't have their struggles in life. Shit happens, but ultimately we're the ones who decide how we feel when facing that shit. I was better at doing it when I was in my 20's and 30's and lost it as I got older.